Celebrity stories about a husband cheating on his wife with a hot, young nanny are so common, they’re cliché. If you listen carefully, you can hear the collective question in the wind: “Why the %&# would you hire a hot, young nanny???”
National surveys show that 15 percent of women and 25 percent of men have had affairs — a number that soars by 20 percent for each gender when emotional affairs are included.
Not a problem, you say smugly, I don’t have a nanny. And yet, there are other relationships lurking in a husband’s life that are ripe for crossing the fidelity line.
The Work Wife
Back then, Don Drapers took off with their assistants. Today, it’s the Work Wife. She is the only member of the opposite sex, aside from you, dear, with whom he shares goals, struggles, successes, inside jokes and the majority of the week. Everyone is dressed to impress, and there are no kids knocking at the worst time. At work he is his best self, the one you don’t see too often anymore. Watch out for: More business trips than usual; late nights at the office.
The Personal Trainer
Let’s get physical. The gym is the oogle capital of the world and his guide is dressed in a sexy sports bra and Lycra (without Spanx!). She is encouraging — “LOOKIN’ GOOD! YOU’RE AMAZING! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” She is demanding — “DO IT!! FASTER! HARDER! HARDER! DON”T STOP!” When’s the last time those words were part of your script? And as much as he tells you he’s at the gym three times a week because he wants his own six-pack back, he may just want hers. Watch out for: His new obsession with his Fitbit.
Who hasn’t looked up an old flame on Facebook? It’s a photo peepshow into what could have been, one “poke,” “wave,” or “hello” at a time. Even if you think she looks like hell in her profile pic, he is still seeing her at 19. The urge to reconnect takes over, and a “Hey, what’s up?” post can become an “I think about you a lot” Direct Message. It’s the spark that never goes away. Watch out for: His using Touch of Gray before attending their reunion.
The Local MILF
Dogs are out. Kids are the new pickup accessory. Birthday parties, school pickups, weekend games are like a bar without alcohol and fumbling for things to talk about. He wonders: Do I still have it? Could I make that blond pony-tailed attorney laugh at my jokes? Could I tap that? Men enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and he’ll find plenty of prey in a sea of bored soccer moms.Watch out for: His volunteering to volunteer.
She hasn’t had the pleasure of putting on 65 pounds to squeeze out her charge. Plus, he can flirt and be lazy. She’s right there. Her dalliance becomes your demise. And when it happens, the betrayal is doubly painful — you rely on these two and trust them with the most important people in the world, your kids. Watch out for: His insistence on driving her home when she can walk.
Everyone needs a girlfriend!
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