40 Women Over 40 Reveal What They Wish They'd Known At 20

While I’m not one to focus on “shoulda, coulda, woulda” as a life philosophy, I do look back at certain moments and wished I’d chosen differently. For example, I took 10 years off from freelance writing to raise and homeschool my two boys. While I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, I <em>do</em> wish that, during that time, I’d continued to write, stay abreast of technology and keep in touch with my professional network. Rebooting a writing career at 50 was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done.

The Girlfriend decided to ask 40 women over age 40 what <em>they’d</em> do differently, knowing what they know now. Here’s what they had to say:

 

 

Leslie Blanchard (55, author, Oklahoma): My husband of 33 years and father to our five children was killed eight months ago in a tragic accident. If I could hit the rewind button, I’d cherish every single minute with him. I would've let “the little things” go so much quicker and just loved what we had together. It was one of a kind.

 

 

Fran Shively (48, executive assistant, New Jersey): I would have read more books — lots of all different kinds. I’d have done this for myself, but also, if I was an avid reader when I was younger, my son would probably also have developed a love of reading.

 

 

Lisa Leshaw (50-plus, mental health professional and writer, New York): I wish I'd taken a gap year to explore the world prior to college and marriage.

 

 

Billie Ruth Lomonaco (40-plus, childcare worker, Florida): I would have stayed in college, found a career that brought me joy, and not married just to piss off my mother. I would have waited for the right man.

 

 

Jen Cullins (53, travel support rep, Pennsylvania): Don't waste your time and life working in a job or industry that is just a paycheck — think bigger!

 

 

Jennifer Reece (43, office manager, Colorado): Travel to experience different places. I wish I had figured out how to do more family trips (nothing extravagant) to show my kids how to experience the world without needing tons of money.

 

 

Cindy Neuhaus (45, medical coder, Kentucky): Live on my own. I went straight from my parents’ house to an apartment with my now-husband. I never really got the chance to go out and explore things on my own.

 

 

Amy Hartl Sherman (63, retired flight attendant and stay-at-home mom, Illinois): I wish I had recognized I was clinically depressed earlier and sought help sooner. That was when I was home with young kids.

 

 

Nicole Cain Cutrell (47, stay-at-home mom, Florida): I wish I had developed good eating and exercise habits. It’s such a hard thing to do when you’re older.

 

 

Jennifer Heinly (58, PR consultant and adjunct professor, California): I would have “lived in the moment” more and not stressed over the small stuff. Life is too short!

 

 

Anne Bardsley (45-plus, author, Florida): I wish I knew I had power. I didn’t find out until I was 45. My husband told me women have all the power ... whaattt???

 

 

Mary Craig (56, church sacrament coordinator, Connecticut): I regret waiting to get married and having kids so late.

 

 

Deborah Goldstein (53, trade show marketer, Kansas): I wish I had continued taking more schooling, especially in technology.

 

<em>Lisa Beach is a freelance journalist and copywriter. Her work has been published in the</em> New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Parents, Eating Well, USA Today Best Years, <em>and dozens more.</em> <em>Check out her writer’s website at</em> www.LisaBeachWrites.com.