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After navigating the emotional minefield of two teens and various other happenings this year, I needed a radical reset. Thanks to my very agreeable husband and a ton of planning, I took a solo, one-month life sabbatical.
Inspired by happiness research and a touch of Eat, Pray, Love-inspired spirit, I built an itinerary designed to help me reconnect with myself: I saw friends, traveled completely alone and finished the trip by cruising with my mother. I traveled to England, France, Spain, Italy, Greece and Turkey.
Goals: prioritize joy, listen to myself and live without input from others.
Here are the six things that truly helped recalibrate my mental health.
1. Getting Mothered
I’m in my mid-40s and haven’t lived at my parents’ home since high school. But I asked my mother to join me on a cruise because I needed to be mothered. We chose Oceania’s Vista ship because of the food (they have master chefs on board!), the environment (mostly retirees who want to relax and explore) and the itinerary (stops in Spain, Italy, France, Greece and Turkey). My favorite part: entering our cabin and having my mother organize everything, unpack and treat me like a child. It was amazing not to be in charge. At one point during a long cruise excursion around Sicily, I felt a hint of motion sickness, so I put my head in my mother’s lap and she scratched my scalp. Don’t have someone who can take on a mothering role? Try going on vacation with a very compassionate friend, and I think you’ll have the same result. At home, I’m the person who arranges everything, reads the directions and delegates. Here, I was able to just be.
2. Eating
There’s a reason Elizabeth Gilbert dedicated an entire section of her book Eat, Pray, Love to eating. Tasting delicious foods instantly boosts dopamine, which I appreciated when I slurped French onion soup on board in France, devoured a wine-pairing menu in Italy and went back for extra Turkish delights. I ate my way through the month and really tried to stay in the moment: I left my phone in my room during meals, ate slowly, and always ordered dessert. Dopamine explosion? For sure.
3. Solitude
I spent a week entirely alone. I woke up without an alarm, ate anything I wanted, took long walks and read lots of books. I had uninterrupted sleep, and I actually woke up feeling excited for the day. Being alone for short spurts is great for your mental health because you’re free to be yourself without judgment: A 2023 study found that spending time alone (presuming you actually want to be alone) boosts mood and lowers stress levels. It showed that people who spent more time alone experienced less stress. Solitude is hard to find in daily life, but I plan to continue this trend by forcing myself to go out by myself once a week. On these outings, I’ll do what I want. Some weeks, I’ll eat alone at a restaurant. I might see a movie, take a road trip, go shopping or just sit in a library for a few hours to read in peace.
4. Connecting With Others
Yes, I know I just suggested that solitude does wonders for mental health. But so does connection — you just need balance. I met with old friends at a college reunion in England, and it felt like we’d never left. We drank at our favorite pubs, reminisced about life, shared photos and gave each other plenty of hugs. It felt life-affirming.
5. Exercising
Every morning, I exercised — whether that was in the Oceania Vista gym, in my English hotel room or even at the airport (no joke). I forced myself to work out on days when I was feeling sluggish, on days when the weather outside was beautiful, on days when I’d rather do anything else. When I didn’t want to work out, I convinced myself to just do 10 minutes. Those 10 minutes turned into 20, and pretty soon an hour would pass. It elevated my mood for the day every single time.
6. Feeding Stray Cats
It was a small, simple task that brought me so much happiness. In my back pocket, I carried a little bag of cat treats and distributed them to strays throughout Europe. I would have loved to volunteer at a pet shelter, but the logistics didn’t work out this time. So I did the next best thing — something that took minimal effort but made me feel amazing.
Have you ever taken this kind of trip? Would you like to? Let us know in the comments below.
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