The Dating Hack That Could Change Your Love Life

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I’ll be 50 in less than a month, and I’ve been dating off and on for eight years without much luck. Friends have set me up, and I’ve done the online dating thing more than I care to admit.

My honest opinion — it’s fine if you don’t agree — is that dating apps have made men lazy. All they have to do is lounge on the sofa, look at women and thumb through profiles like connection should be effortless and delivered in under 30 minutes.

I’ve heard women say that men on these apps are The Leftovers. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. All I know is that I haven’t met enough good men that way to keep investing more time in them. Not to mention, they now cost an arm and a leg for a subscription.

No, thank you.

I’ve met a few quality single men in real life and from dating apps — and that's being generous. I know I’m not alone in feeling like it’s hard to find a healed man who’s emotionally available without too much baggage. I mean, we all have it at this age — me included — but there’s a limit.

My single girlfriends agree. So do the single women who follow me on social media. Also, all of Instagram and TikTok seem to be dealing with the same thing — meeting men who just don’t seem to know what to do, aren’t really available or can’t communicate.

I refuse to believe the world is out of good men. I wondered if I wasn’t looking hard enough. I’ve practiced talking to strangers in line at the grocery store. I’ve gone out to eat alone if my girlfriends are busy to keep myself from staying at home and watching rom-coms.

I’ve been openly single in person but not on social media. So after I saw a woman post her dating profile on her Instagram page, I took matters into my own hands and joined her. Yes, I was nervous as hell, but I did it anyway. Do I care what people think? Not really. I can’t just sit here and complain that there aren’t any good men around and not do anything about it.

Casting a wider net and relying on amazing women who already follow me seemed like a great idea. And so far, it has been. After curating a few slides with snippets about myself and what I was looking for, I hit the share button.

This method felt validating and safe. I could be candid with these women who might know someone. Maybe they have a brother, father or co-worker. One woman asked her husband right away to ask around at work. Another tagged her cousin.

When I started getting messages from women telling me they had a great guy for me to meet, I was able to share things with them before anyone’s time was wasted. I told them it was really important to me to date a non-drinker who was physically active and healthy. Having men message me who are vetted by other women is so refreshing, and I appreciate the connections I’ve made with the ones who take the time out of their day to tell me about a great guy they know.

I had one date within four days of posting, and it went well. Another man (we have mutual friends) messaged me a Google Doc with important things about himself. I’m hearing from intentional men who’ve never been on dating sites (it really shows) who are interested in a relationship and putting in the effort it takes to have one.

I did get one creepy message, but other than that, this entire experience has been empowering and super fun. Lots of women have told me they want to do the same thing because they’re having trouble meeting someone, and I’m here for it.

I might not find the love of my life this way, but it feels good to exhaust all the possibilities. And for those who think you don’t have to do something like post your dating profile online to meet a man, I agree. Women shouldn’t have to, but there are lots of things we shouldn’t have to do that we do because the end result is worth it. I strongly recommend trying it if what you’re doing isn’t working and you’d like to meet The One.

After all, what do you have to lose other than more dates and possibly your pride (which, let's be honest, has survived worse)?

Would you ever do the above in order to meet a good partner? Have you tried online dating? Let us know in the comments below.