I Have Two Close Friends, And That’s All I Need
I used to think there was something wrong with me. Not anymore.
When I was younger I had lots of friends. I was a very social person and found I derived energy from being around other people. I was the annoying child who always brought a friend home without asking my parents in elementary school. I had plans with friends every weekend in high school and if there wasn’t something going on, I’d often create something. I was also the one who did most of the reaching out and asking if people wanted to hang with me. I truly believed having more friends meant you were a much better person and I didn’t find a lot of joy in being alone.
Sometime after my kids were born the energy to be a social butterfly left me. For a while, I thought I was just tired, touched out, and that I’d soon get my friendship groove back. My alone time started to become sacred and I enjoyed the quiet. I was getting to know myself and found I didn’t need a lot of social interaction to be happy. I simply needed to take care of myself and get some much-needed downtime.
But when I started refusing plans when friends would reach out, I wondered if maybe something was wrong with me. I felt like a completely different person. But now that all my kids are older, and hardly home because they have lives of their own, I’ve realized it had nothing to do with my energy, and there was certainly nothing wrong with me.
One of the things I love about getting older is realizing what I don’t need in my life. After going through the “more is more” phase in my teens, twenties, and part of my thirties, this has been so freeing. As I started to feel some of my friendships drifting away because I didn’t have the energy to always be the one to make plans, or I felt us growing apart, I wondered if I was being a lazy friend. There were moments I felt a little bad about not having lots of plans and a full social calendar but I couldn’t shake the feeling I was a lot happier. I really liked hanging out with just me and my fear of missing out on things was gone.
I also realized how happy and content I was with the two close friendships I do have. These relationships fill me up so much and I’m not lacking a thing. Sure, I have friends I meet up with a few times a year for a quick lunch to catch up and women I see at the grocery store and we end up talking and talking. But, when it comes to true friendship; the kind you know is always going to be there even if you have a difference of opinion or go a month without talking, there are only two women in my life who fit that description.
They are partners to me in the truest form because I know I can count on them. If I picked up the phone at any given time and told them I needed them, they would be there. They listen to me without judgment, encourage me, and call me out on my own crap. They do not stuff me with sunshine and tell me what I want to hear. If I’m not living up to my potential or I’m being hard on myself, they tell me in the most loving way.
It’s not that I don’t have room for other friends, but I do realize what I have in these women and I’m content with knowing I have two friends who have my back, give as much as I do in our friendships, never talk about me behind my back, and truly want the best for me.
I appreciate them more than I can ever express and if I go the rest of my years without another friend, I can honestly say it won’t bother me in the least. They are more than enough. And so am I, regardless of how many friends I have.
How many close friends do you think you need? Let us know in the comments below.