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One Of The Scariest Things About Facebook

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

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three computer mouse, two are pink one is blue showing why married men flirt online
Jeff Elkins
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I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I uploaded my Facebook profile pic over a decade ago. Not long after, I sat next to a friend who told me her father-in-law was leaving her mother-in-law after 35 years of marriage for his high school girlfriend.

"What??" I said.

"Facebook," she mouthed.

My own Facebook foray had been pretty benign until I posted a picture of me and my kids on a boat trip. A familiar face popped up in my DM: "Wow, long time no see. Those legs are smokin'. How are you, hottie?"

Me: "Thank you, hope you are well."

Him: "Man, I'd love to see those legs in person. I used to think about them wrapped around me in Science class."

What?? This was someone I used to know in high school who, according to his FB status, was very married with a newborn and a beautiful wife. Also, it was pretty clear I was married with kids since they were in the "smokin'" picture with me.

And thus I learned that hitting on old flames and former friends on Facebook is a thing. I've asked other women, and apparently it’s more common than their kid coming home with a cold.

The consensus is that the majority of guys looking for action strike around the age of 40. They don't care if they’re married or if they are contacting someone who is — they’re just looking for a little excitement on the side.

Listen up:

Kathy, 40, Facebook status: Married, 3 kids
"My ex-boyfriend contacted me after we hadn't seen each other for over 25 years. He said he was spying on me on Facebook and I was still as hot as ever. He has three kids, says he's happily married but can't help himself and he has never gotten over me, which is strange because he dumped me in high school — then never talked to me again."

Emily, 42, Facebook status: Single, 2 kids
"A friend of mine is married to this guy I've only met once. He sent me a friendly message a few months ago complimenting a cake I made for a birthday party. After I thanked him, he got right back to me telling me how beautiful I was. The next evening, he messaged me at 11 p.m. to see what I was up to. I wanted to tell him I was messaging with his wife about PTA stuff, but I ignored him."

Heather, 46, Facebook status: Married, 1 kid
"A guy I used to fool around with in college was going through a divorce and started messaging me. At first, they were just friendly, and I told him I hoped he was hanging in there. Then, he got suggestive and wanted to see me. I reminded him I was married, and he said it would be for old times’ sake and no one really had to know."

Rebecca, 41, Facebook status: Married, 2 kids
"A high school boyfriend got in touch with me a few months ago. I wasn't in a good place in my marriage and was feeling lonely and ignored. Our conversation started out very normal about family and kids. It was nice to talk to him, and my husband knew. Then he told me his wife didn't know and got very flirty with me. I told him I couldn't do it anymore; I felt horrible. He said it wasn't a big deal and he did it all the time."

Have YOU hooked up with an old flame or been contacted by an old boyfriend on social media? Let us know. We want to hear from you. Email us at And please put "social media" in the subject line.