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The 5 Friends Every Mom Needs In Her Life

Is this the support network you have?

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illustration of mother with her mom friends and children by eugenia mello
Eugenia Mello
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As my kids move on to middle school and high school, I often think back on the key players who I relied on to get me through from birth to sixth grade. The stars of my mom village who were always there to offer a suggestion or solve a problem. The faces changed as we switched schools or moved neighborhoods, but their roles didn’t. I couldn’t have gotten through motherhood without these five mom-friends, and no matter where I went, I always found one of these around to fulfill her designated role:

The Wise Mom
Every mom needs, well, a mom. And when your actual one isn’t available, you need someone sensible and perceptive to help you put your mama-drama into perspective. When my daughter wasn’t crawling at exactly the same time as all the other babies, I was convinced that there must be something wrong. My Wise Mom-friend reminded me that everyone develops on their own schedule, and she assured me that everything would be just fine. Lo and behold, Wise Mom was correct. My daughter can now walk, unassisted, to any destination of her choosing. Who could have imagined? Whether it’s talking you down from the ledge after an attack of teenage attitude or reminding you that it’s going to be OK when your third grader gets rejected on the playground, everyone needs a sage and knowing friend to keep you grounded in the throes of a “crisis.”

The Organized Mom
This mom is my personal hero and the woman I have tried to emulate throughout my journey through motherhood. Your son forgot his math worksheet? Organized Mom can text you a photo. You feel overwhelmed trying to choose a summer camp? Organized Mom has a spreadsheet that will help you compare your options. Can’t remember what time parents’ night starts at school? Just ask Organized Mom, and she can forward you that email with all the details that you accidentally deleted. She has everyone’s birthday in her calendar and a drawer full of cards and wrapping paper for any occasion. You may secretly hate her for appearing to have it all together, but the truth is that you’d be lost without her.

The Up-for-Anything Mom
It’s one thing to know you can call your girlfriends for a cocktail on a Friday night. It’s quite another to have that one friend who’s willing to join you for margaritas at 5 p.m. on a Tuesday. During the periods of my life when I was freelancing from home or in between jobs, I relied on Up-for-Anything Mom to keep my spirits high when I felt like dying from boredom. She’s the only one you’d ask to join when you take your kid to see their first R-rated movie, and she’s definitely the one you want to leave with when the school auction becomes overwhelmingly dull at 7 p.m. Just be careful: Don’t call this friend for advice about haircuts, tattoos or finances. Her “go for it” attitude may not be appropriate for all situations!

The BTDT Mom
This mom can sometimes be annoying, but guess what? You’re better off listening to her. When I was positive my son wouldn’t need a second round of braces, BTDT Mom assured me with one glance at his baby face that we were in for another orthodontic shift. A few years and a few grand later, I knew she’d been right all along. She’s that friend with a kid in college who has paved the road for you and is happy to let you learn from her mistakes. Nothing surprises her, and as irritating as it may be, she is always right.

The Concierge Mom
Planning a trip somewhere? Concierge Mom can tell you what hotel is best for kids. Need to find a space for your child’s birthday party, bar mitzvah or graduation bash? Concierge Mom will email you a list of options. When I needed to find a new doctor specializing in perimenopausal women, Concierge Mom hooked me up. She chooses the restaurants, gets theater tickets months in advance and knows when there’s a sale going on at your favorite store. Concierge Mom makes the parenting journey a lot more fun, if not slightly more expensive.