It’s late in the evening and I’m just getting out of the shower. As I'm drying off, I impulsively decide that this would be a great time to have sex with my husband. I wrap my towel around my body and head down the hallway to his office. I slowly open the door, throw off my towel and raise my arms with a seductive smile. Then, I ask the same question I've asked him for over 22 years, “You want some of this?” He looks up from his computer with startled eyes, then immediately responds with an arousing, “YES! I'll never turn you down!” We meet in the bedroom and lock the door behind us in case our son comes home early from being out with his friends. Then, we readily dive into the well-worn routine we’ve perfected through lots of trial and error.
Early in our marriage, we were much more adventurous and creative with our sex life. I had a drawer full of lingerie, lotions, costumes and toys. We would experiment with fantasy role-play, sexual positions, creative techniques and novel devices. We’d plan intimate retreats at hotels or bed-and-breakfasts and enjoy new and exciting ways of lovemaking.
But as time went on and we had kids, our life shifted into a new season of parenting. We replaced our extravagant sexual pursuits with any possible attempts of sneaking sex in when we could. Those quickies were lifesavers during those exhausting years when we were overwhelmed with managing our jobs and caring for our little ones, who demanded so much of our time and energy.
As they grew older and became less dependent, we relished more intimate time together and learned new ways to satisfy each other. All those extra accessories we used to add to our sex life gradually disappeared along with our need to use them. My drawer still holds my old silky lingerie, but it hasn't been opened in years and I doubt anything still fits me anyway. I no longer feel the need to dress lavishly or flaunt enticing feats to feel sexy or desired by him.
As we’ve aged and gone through life circumstances that deepened our relationship, we stopped feeling obligated to entertain and impress each other with fanciful garments and extensive performances. We now enjoy pleasing each other in the simplest of ways. We know what works and doesn’t, what turns us on, and what excites us most. We’ve refined our routine with our small collection of techniques, positions, foreplay and conversations. And every time, we both feel connected, satisfied, fulfilled and happy. Whether it’s our efficient quickie or our more involved and well-practiced lovemaking session, my husband sighs with pure elation afterward and always claims, “It’s like the first time every time with you." He has never been one to offer false flattery, so his genuine expression of grateful adoration melts me every time.
Some might think we have a boring sex life since we constantly repeat the same familiar routine. But it never gets old to us. And because it’s so easy and incredibly satisfying, we actively engage in sex often. I know some couples who are much more adventurous with their sex lives and others who have no sex at all. An AARP survey about the sex lives of couples over 50 reported that 33 percent of respondents claimed they rarely or never had sex. According to many studies, sexual activity significantly declines in couples after age 50.
As we get older, many contributing factors can inhibit our sex lives, such as lifestyle changes, health conditions, lagging libidos and declining hormone levels for both men and women. My husband and I have struggled through all those obstacles that, at times, interfered with us being consistently active. But thankfully, we navigated through those challenges with intentional effort and patience. Because we've always invested in making our sex life a priority and simplified things tremendously, it improved in our 50s!
We often talk about how much fun it will be when our last kid graduates from high school and heads off on his own. We’ll have the house to ourselves and the freedom and time to delve more deeply into our intimate pleasures. Maybe then we'll explore new ideas and add new features to our repetitive routine.
But for now, I’m grateful my husband still thinks I’m sexy. I’m no longer the young, lean and energetic woman I used to be. Gone are the days of putting so much effort into devising new elaborate erotic surprises to keep our love life vital. I’m relieved I don’t have to try that hard anymore. I still get the same results with my body's added curves, wrinkles, achy joints, and limited tricks. There’s nothing better than feeling desired by my man. He’s only grown more handsome and sexy to me, and I love knowing what pleases him most and makes him feel like it’s the very first time every time we have our same old sex.
Who can relate to the above? Let us know in the comments below.
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