Revealed! 2 Ways To Fight Loneliness That Always Work For Me

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My life has changed quite a bit in the last year. All my kids have moved out of my house, and I don’t have a partner. I went from having family dinner every night, a house full of people and events to attend, to a very quiet home.

While I’m enjoying the newfound freedom, and I do have girlfriends and community programs I’m involved in, for the first time in my life, I feel lonely quite often.

As an introvert and someone who enjoys their space and independence, this is new for me, but it’s very real, and it has affected my mental health.

Accumulating research highlights the health hazards of isolation, linking loneliness to depression, heart disease and a higher risk of dementia. It can have the same impact on your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to a report from the U.S. Surgeon General.

I can honestly say this adjustment period has been difficult, and I’ve had days of feeling very anxious and sad. I’ve wondered what my purpose is, and not knowing what this second chapter of life has in store for me has left me unsteady. I do think that having more time on my hands and the fact that I miss my “old” life have contributed to this.

Of course, I can reach out to family and friends. A phone call, a lunch date or simply texting a bit helps. But I soon realized I can’t always count on other people to ease my loneliness. There are times I feel really down, and people don’t always get back to me right away. They have their own lives with obligations that may come before me — it was important to me that I come up with ways to feel better on my own.

After some serious soul-searching, I found two things that always help.

Try Something New

One day about six months ago, my anxiety was through the roof, and I knew a lot of it had to do with the changes in my life. I was craving human connection. My best friend was visiting her son, and all my kids were out doing something fun with their significant others. It was up to me to pull myself out of my lonely funk because I was tired of feeling sorry for myself.

I went to get tea and instead of taking my usual way there, I took back roads. Then, I didn’t go through the drive-through like I always do. I went inside, got a table and decided I’d finally sign up for a jewelry class.

I couldn’t believe how much better I felt as I was driving home. I wondered if it was because I got out of my comfort zone for a bit, so naturally, I had to Google it. UW Medicine found that trying something new can give us a hit of dopamine and help fight the blues. “Studies suggest that people who engage in a variety of new experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones,” reports Juan Pablo Zapata, clinical psychology resident in the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at UW School of Medicine.

After learning that, it became a regular thing and I can’t believe how well it works. I find that the more challenging things I try, the better. It definitely takes my mind off my emotional state. And because I am so engrossed in learning and trying something new, it takes all my lonely feelings away.

Get Physical

We all know that exercise has so many benefits, but I had no idea it could help with loneliness until I was, well, lonely. I’ve always been active and I like going to the gym and running outdoors. My spin class has always been a big part of my life. I usually get my exercise in during the morning hours, but with an empty house, I added evening walks. Sometimes I’d do this outside, and other times I’d go to the gym.

I couldn’t believe how much better I felt, and it wasn’t just endorphins either. Then, I started challenging myself more during my morning workouts. This included sprints and lifting heavier weights. Doing that left me feeling less isolated, even though I was working out alone.

United Healthcare reports, “Moderate and high physical activity were associated with significantly reduced rates (15 percent to 30 percent lower) of severe loneliness and social isolation. The same level of physical activity was also associated with improved feelings (27 percent to 150 percent higher) of resilience, purpose and a positive perception of aging.”

It’s pretty amazing that there are things you can do whenever you want, by yourself, that will improve your mental health and help you feel less alone.

Reaching out to people and making plans, or getting involved in the community, is so important — and probably the best cure, I think. It’s empowering to know that if you’re hit by a wave of loneliness, there’s something you can do about it.

How often do YOU feel lonely? What do you do about it? Let us know in the comments below.