Call me a bad sport if you must — I prefer “unconventional thinker” — but I don’t see the point of making a resolution I won’t keep. That’s just setting yourself up for failure, right?
Here are five resolutions I will not make:
1. I will not join a gym.
There are many things about gyms that I don’t like. Chief among them is that most gyms are filled with people who look like they don’t need to be there. If you are confident enough about your body to wear skin-tight workout wear instead of baggy sweats and an oversized tee shirt, this should be proof that you don’t need a gym. To the people younger and thinner than I am: Go home and stream something while you eat a pint of mint chip ice cream. For the record, I exercise — just not at a gym. I walk a few miles first thing every morning at the dog’s insistence. I have walking pals who I suspect used to be gym rats, but their knees, hips and feet didn’t share their affection for the place. And nobody wears skin-tight workout wear.
2. I will not play Wordle or any games to help strengthen my mind.
If I don't go to the gym, neither should my mind. The fact that I can still dress and feed myself and remember to floss most days tells me that my mind is essentially functioning. OK, I may not remember your name or what I came into the kitchen for, but what my mind needs is more downtime — you know, calming thoughts and perhaps letting me sleep between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.
As for Wordle, I don’t understand why some people post their daily Wordle results on social media. It reminds me of when my kids were small, and I would tape their spelling test scores to the refrigerator. I also once peeled the little barcode stickers off each piece of fruit my kids ate and made a poster with them shaped into the words “Good job!” Posting your Wordle results on Insta is much the same.
3. I will not stop drinking wine for a month or even a day.
Food and wine are two of the greatest pleasures in my life. Why would I deny myself either? Wine enhances my food and my mood. Isn’t life hard enough without quitting something you love just to prove you can? I can. I don’t want to. See the difference?
4. I will not join a book club, especially if wine isn't served.
Before COVID, book clubs were where women drank wine with their gal pals. Less cheesy than a corner bar, it was a safe place for girlfriend time. Meetings were held about once a month at different members’ homes. Often, the hostess would prepare and serve elaborate food to be washed down with the wine. Some clubs became competitive cook-offs in this regard. Occasionally, a few members actually read the book being discussed. Then along came COVID and book clubs no longer met in person. A virtual book club is like a Zoom meeting for work. Two people can’t talk at once, there are no side chats, and nobody wants to announce that they need to get up and use the bathroom. And to address the alleged true purpose of a book club: Do you really care what someone else thinks of the book you loved? Me neither. I also don’t miss the pontificators (every book club has someone who wants to hold court) or the perpetually late member who can never get there in time and is miffed that you started without her.
5. I will not diet.
I’m a carb addict and have yet to meet a loaf of hard-crusted bread I don't want to devour. Here’s the rub: I have enough self-control (assisted by my food tracker, step tracker, heart rate and blood pressure monitors) to figure out how to eat reasonably and responsibly. My clothes are my best scale. When they start to feel snug, I increase my daily steps and cut back on carbs. I don’t let my weight get too far ahead of where I want it to be because, for me, weight control occurs every day. Why am I so anti-diet? Because dieting is a $75 billion industry built around selling a product that fails most of us. What other industry sells hope the way the diet business does? One of the most common measuring sticks for diet failure is when we regain our weight. And the reality is that describes most of us. Multiple reputable studies say the vast majority of dieters return to or exceed their starting weight. And yet, we still pay for and put ourselves on diets. Just don’t. Or at least not as a resolution.
Is there a resolution that YOU won't be making in 2024? Let us know in the comments below.
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