By the time we’ve reached midlife, women have received ample amounts of advice from friends, family, coworkers, medical professionals and even strangers. Although some of it may not have been helpful (or solicited), we've all been given valuable counsel that had a powerful impact on our perspective and made a difference in our lives. Through the years, we’ve gathered useful insights from books and various experts and learned some hard-earned lessons from life. We’ve amassed a substantial collection of essential directives that empower our mindset, guide our decisions and enrich our experiences. Here are some great gems our girlfriends have gleaned.
Sometimes it takes more strength to ask for help than to do it alone. I’ve learned this many times when I was struggling and finally put my big girl pants on and reached out for help. People think they are weak if they need help, but humans naturally need each other, and we were put on this earth to thrive together.
Responding to challenging situations is much more productive than reacting to them. Responding is more thoughtful and controlled while reacting is more impulsive and emotional. I am emotional and tend to let my feelings lead my decisions before thinking through things carefully. Now I try to pause before I react and take the time to process and plan a response which helps me manage those difficult circumstances much better.
The best advice I was given is work-related because I’ve been managing people for decades, and I think of it all the time. "Don’t do something for one person you aren’t willing to do for everyone." It keeps you fair and is something I always consider when making decisions with/for my employees.
An emergency for someone else isn’t an emergency for me. This reminds me to pause and make sure I can help someone out if they’re asking. If I can’t, then I need to let them take responsibility for their own situations.
When someone compliments you, they are not looking for a discussion. Just say thank you.
Not every behavior you see needs a response, and you don't need to attend every argument you're invited to. For me, that means not responding to my teen's snarky comment about what I made for dinner, ignoring my husband's bad mood after a long day at work, or simply responding with kindness when a retail worker is rude. I always try to control the way I respond, and I don’t spend the energy engaging in negative interactions when it’s simply not necessary.
Find a toddler and an elderly person to cherish every day. Each will enrich your life exponentially.
When the pain you feel is more than the pain you will feel by changing, it’s then that you will have the strength and courage to change. A wise older friend said this to me in my 20s, and it’s always stuck with me. I believe it’s true for every area of our lives.
I saw this saying when I was a young teen, and it continues to inspire me every day to be the best person I can be and do the best I can with what I have. "What God gives you is His gift to you. What you do with those gifts is your gift to God."
Stretch every day. The older we get, the more we need to do this because it makes a huge difference in the health of our joints, muscles and bones as our bodies age. It will relieve your stiffness and muscle aches too!
A friend in my AA group once shared that he gets on his knees every morning and asks God to give him the strength to keep him sober and every night he gets on his knees and thanks God for the strength that kept him sober. I’ve been doing it ever since.
You never have to make a quick decision unless it's life-threatening. Take your time, hit pause and do what is best for you.
Confidence is not the same as arrogance. When I was starting my career, it was a male-dominated field. I had a wonderful mentor and boss who saw my potential, and she gave me a book titled Brag, The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It. She said it’s okay to be good at something and say so, and this continues to be extremely valuable for me as I’ve worked hard to succeed in my career.
What other people think of you is none of your business. I’ve always been a people pleaser, and it’s hard to accept that everyone won’t like me, but this advice has helped me immensely.
Your adult children are not you, and what they do in their lives is solely up to them. You may not agree with all of their choices. All you can do is love them where they are unconditionally and pray for them fervently.
Don't believe everything you see or hear, whether it's some rumor in your community, gossip in your social circles, headline news reports or social media messaging. Do the hard work of researching the facts, or you will often be misled. I realized this after years of being gullible and naive. Now I know better.
Let’s build a community of support by adding your best advice in the comment section below.
Jenni Sparks
Follow Article Topics: Lifestyle
