Here's The Big Aging Milestone I Really Could Have Done Without

I remember when I noticed the first permanent wrinkle on my face. I was so incredibly naïve. I thought it was a temporary smile line or the side effect of a sinus infection — I was only 38 and far too young to have real wrinkles! Then there was that time at the ripe, young age of 42 when someone complimented me for being brave enough to wear my “sparkles” with pride. The sparkles she was referring to were my gray hairs, and, spoiler alert — there was no pride attached to them. More recently, I stared at my reflection in the mirror at the gym and saw my mom’s knees where mine were supposed to be.

Midlife is full of milestones we would much rather do without, and I, for one, was not prepared or able to embrace any of them. However, one stands out even more than the rest. In addition to leaving me slightly offended, it also left me amused — because Girlfriends, it was the one I never saw coming.

I’m an active mid-lifer and spend most mornings at the gym getting in some cardio and strength training. Naturally, after decades of using these muscles, tendons and joints, things started to ache — wrist pain here, tennis elbow there, cortisone everywhere! Eventually, I needed an MRI of my shoulder. On the day of said MRI, the medical assistants talked me through the entire procedure. They offered me headphones, accepted my song requests and went through the full safety protocol. Any jewelry? No. New tattoos? Nope. Pacemaker? No.

I figured we were good to go. During this routine procedure, I didn’t expect a ha-ha-you-sure-are-old shtick to whack me in the face. On the contrary, something about a hospital gown, tube socks and a top-knot had me feeling kind of cute and youthful. This is often the case for me — I feel young, so that’s why the signs of aging hit me so hard. On this particular day, feeling young, I lay in the MRI machine and focused on my music when BAM! It landed like a ton of bricks: OMG, I am so old. I cannot believe this! How did this happen?

She never asked me if I might be pregnant!

Knowing that this must have been a standard safety precaution for all MRIs, I was mortified that she had assumed I was too old to be successfully impregnated. You can’t just look at someone and assume they’re post-menopausal? Or can you?

I lay in that machine and reviewed the previous 30 minutes in my head — maybe I’m wrong. Was there any paperwork asking about my pregnancy status? How could this be? I must look much older than I realize.

When the procedure ended, I said nothing about my sad epiphany. I feigned a smile, said thank you, and went home to Netflix and binge-eat. It all felt heavy at first, and then it started to lift. No one can escape aging, I thought. I even had a good laugh over my newly proclaimed fertility status with my sister, who replied that, yes, “that happened to me at the dentist once — they didn’t ask about my pregnancy status before an X-ray — and I was livid!” I felt less alone. I felt less crazy. I was reminded that aging is a part of life, and maybe if I can find a way to laugh about it, maybe even write about it, then I will be able to accept it after all.

So, I sat down to write this piece about aging milestones and unexpected reminders of being old, and I thought, hmmmm, what’s the risk of having an MRI when pregnant anyway? Here’s what Google had to say:

“Pregnant people can get an MRI at any trimester. No documented reports have shown any harm to patients or babies.”

BAM! I was hit again. So, that’s why they didn’t ask. Maybe I do look young enough to have a baby after all. This time, the surprise was a more pleasant one. Then, I kept researching. Apparently, some institutions ask about pregnancy status, while others do not. And some are more likely to ask if you are of childbearing age. I was back to where I started. Did they determine I was not of childbearing age and was that because of my looks or actual age? I suppose I’ll never know, and maybe that’s the message the universe really wants me to hear. It doesn’t matter.

Age is a number, and we all gain digits as time goes by. But age is also a feeling, and I feel young, especially when I put on my music, pull my tube socks up to my mom’s knees and gather my grays in a top knot!

 
Was there ever a moment when something happened to make YOU feel old? Let us know in the comments below.